"Love Yourself" (With Molly Eledge of Belle & Bell)
One of the most powerful skills I’ve learned over the past several years has been the skill of loving myself. Through my journey with fitness, my work in therapy, and a lot of evolving internal dialog, I’ve reached a place where I can honestly and genuinely say, “Hannah, I love you.”
My relationship with my body has grown through my involvement in sport and weightlifting. I am so grateful to the barbell and its community for teaching me appreciation and love for my body.
In my desire to give back to the community that gave me so much, I started doing research for a future book. Although the book is still planned, I feel that the knowledge I’ve gained is too valuable not to share right now.
One of the first interviews for the book was done with the incredible, talented, Molly Eledge.
Over the past couple years, I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know Molly.
She’s strong, beautiful, and a kickass entrepreneur (owner of an inspirational athletic clothing line, Belle & Bell). She has battled an eating disorder, poor self image, and built an empire in the fitness industry with a red hot future ahead.
I was able to interview Molly about her evolving relationship with her body and sport and she blew me away with her thoughtful responses to the questions below. Enjoy!
What kind of sports or fitness do you do?
Currently participate in CrossFit (5 years) + weightlifting (8 months). I ran a marathon and a few half marathons from 2011–2012.
How does your involvement in CrossFit and fitness affect your sense of self?
Getting involved in CrossFit completely changed my mindset and helped pull me out of eating disorders I had struggled with for years.
Up until starting CrossFit, I never cared what my body could do — only what it looked like. And no matter what I weighed or what I looked like, I was never satisfied.
How would you compare your body image and identity before with after your involvement in fitness?
Before CrossFit, I was INCREDIBLY self-conscious about my body. I never felt thin enough, battled anorexia during college, and binging and purging for years after that. Food and fitness controlled my life and I was miserable. I didn’t really know what I wanted. I just knew I was unhappy.
I fluctuated in weight, and seriously lacked self-esteem. I was afraid to wear shorts and let people see my cellulite, I refused to go to pool parties or the beach in fear of wearing a bikini.
After starting CrossFit, I began to get past those fears. The environment and community that CrossFit provides is non-judgmental, and I eventually started wearing shorts to the gym. As the months and years went on, those shorts became my staple! Now, its a rare occasion if you catch me in anything else!
Having the confidence to just be MYSELF, unapologetically, is something I never thought I’d achieve. There are days/weeks/months where I know I am off my fitness game and gain weight/become a little fluffier…and I’m okay with that! I’ve learned to accept there are seasons for everything, and a few extra pounds never hurt anyone.
Realizing that there is SO much more to life than what I see in the mirror is what changed everything for me.
How does your sense of self relate to your fitness community?
Seeing other confident women in this sport helped me become more confident with myself.
Seeing other girls rock short shorts, girls of all shapes and sizes, got ME inspired to overcome that fear. Seeing women just love and be themselves encourages other women to do the same.
Describe your relationship with your body in one word?
LOVING! In the past, I would have probably said “a work in progress,” Now, I make decisions based on what is truly best for my physical, and maybe more importantly- mental, health.
I used to mistreat my body — exercise was a punishment for what I had eaten and was trying to “undo”. Now, I exercise because I love it and I know it’s good for me! I eat healthy, but don’t deprive myself of things I want. Food is no longer bad or the enemy — it’s fuel!
I love my body and all it has done for me, even when I wasn’t treating it right.
Describe yourself in one word?
I think that word would be evolving. I feel like the last 10 years has been the craziest growth and evolution. Seeing where I was at 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago, is so drastically different than where I am at today.
I am always trying to learn and better myself, better my business, and better my relationships. I think that learning to love myself throughout the years has helped me realize I can go after anything and achieve so much more than I thought I could when I was younger. I think being involved in sports has taught me that hard work pays off, not just in the gym, but overcoming any obstacle in life.
If you could write a letter to your younger self, what is one piece of advice that you would give?
Oh man. I wish I could tell myself to not be so dang hard on myself. Love myself. Enjoy that moment, and not always look forward to what’s coming in the future.
I feel like I lost such a significant part of my young adult life trapped by eating disorders — missing parties and get togethers in fear of what I would be expected to eat, not ever being truly present because I was lost in depression and anxiety. Although I wish so badly that I could go back and teach myself the things I know and understand now, I can’t…so instead, I just am sure I am enjoying THESE years the best I can. I never want to look back and regret “missing them” the way I feel I missed my early 20's.
If you could give one piece of advice to women everywhere, what would it be?
Love yourself.
How would your life would be different if you had never been involved in sports?
I definitely would not have had the same appreciation for what my body can do. I would like to think that I eventually would have learned to love myself the way I do now, but I don’t know if thats true or not.
CrossFit really helped open up my eyes to realizing that there is beauty in strength, and the mirror and scale should have no role in determining our self worth.
Learning to love myself brought me so much more happiness and peace than I ever thought I could.
I always just assumed I would live my life obsessed with food, unhappy with my body image, and forever struggle with depression. And as sad as it sounds, I had accepted that and was okay with that. It didn’t change over night, but looking back and watching my mindset change over the last five years is one of the most amazing things.
I am proud of how far I’ve come, but also really excited to see where life goes from here!
Molly on IG: @mollyeledge
Belle & Bell on IG: @belleandbell